








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7224 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4550 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4264 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,495 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0N1 | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | DOYA | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | p1mple | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | | MaxS | 59% | 121 |
| #5 | ✪FreeZ3 | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | oOoPBoOo | 50% | 28 |
| #14 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 48% | 155 |
| #15 | LUi | 48% | 85 |
| #16 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 46% | 59 |
| #17 | blerb. | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | chrizzo | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | blerb. | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | m0ndayw0w d:] | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Super Kaiyajin | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrizzo | 1010 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | Super Kaiyajin | 557 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | | MaxS | 451 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | LUi | 355 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | bilbo.- | 270 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | MaxS | +5.44 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | chrizzo | +2.95 | 82 | 78 |
| #3 | bilbo.- | +2.04 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | -_skill issue | +1.13 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | bLacKKKKKKKK | +1.01 | 73 | 69 |





