








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1274 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2349 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1865 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,157 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndiHypeX_TTV | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | tENZA | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | kAYBY | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | ricK | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | matra | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | :Depresne:™ (Valorant Player) | 50% | 48 |
| #10 | XEp | 49% | 47 |
| #11 | an0^_- | 47% | 59 |
| #12 | themostdope | 47% | 59 |
| #13 | Kasper | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alec 6'7 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | hEATZIE | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | themostdope | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Trithi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | tENZA | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an0^_- | 431 | 0.31 | 13 min |
| #2 | hEATZIE | 226 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | :Depresne:™ (Valorant Player) | 173 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | themostdope | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | XEp | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hEATZIE | +5.88 | 98 | 57 |
| #2 | XEp | +1.97 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | haamu | +1.68 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Alec 6'7 | +0.53 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | :Depresne:™ (Valorant Player) | +0.49 | 50 | 66 |





