








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 388 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3782 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5118 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3855 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4725 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,491,397 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DareDev1L | 63% | 72 |
| #2 | ster | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | hOudini*-) , daix | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | themostdope | 55% | 401 |
| #5 | an0^_- | 55% | 399 |





