










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2581 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3748 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2851 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,647,293 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magiker | 65% | 118 |
| #2 | Dani | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | Drasun | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | CapToon | 58% | 104 |
| #5 | Snuif Duif | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleU | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Unskilled_For3ver | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | raW🍊 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Chr1ssyB | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Snuif Duif | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapToon | 364 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | MaDzilla | 343 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Dani | 277 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Magiker | 274 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Unskilled_For3ver | 192 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magiker | +3.12 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Johnny_ | +2.87 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | raW🍊 | +1.51 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | Dora the Explorer | +1.24 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | DoubleU | +0.95 | 69 | 50 |





