








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3239 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3669 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3416 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3124 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,654 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Susihac | 36% | 22 |
| #21 | pieps | 36% | 47 |
| #22 | McLiima | 35% | 46 |
| #23 | Pinku | 32% | 31 |
| #24 | sam4vimes | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | wbr | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | McLiima | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Giquli | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ayiaz | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 740 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | ayiaz | 308 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | frstrm | 263 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | mato | 236 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | wbr | 189 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | +3.67 | 61 | 73 |
| #2 | rotta | +3.27 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | ayiaz | +2.74 | 59 | 78 |
| #4 | Pinku | +1.55 | 66 | 72 |
| #5 | mato | +0.90 | 50 | 70 |





