








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3062 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5219 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3652 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3841 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $944,072 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikkeli | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | siima | 59% | 71 |
| #3 | mato | 59% | 124 |
| #4 | Karvapallero | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | Giquli | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Femorale | 48% | 50 |
| #15 | Pöyhtäri | 46% | 177 |
| #16 | wbr | 44% | 97 |
| #17 | Asklepios | 42% | 31 |
| #18 | Biscuit Jacob the Magnificent | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | mato | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | wbr | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | sam4vimes | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Karvapallero | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 741 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | mato | 545 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | sam4vimes | 486 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | Sonight | 311 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Jarro | 272 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rotta | +2.71 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | ayiaz | +1.92 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | v0ppa | +1.84 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | vrum vrum | +1.77 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | siima | +1.54 | 75 | 69 |





