








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 936 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1377 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,146 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enzo Gorlami | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | sam4vimes | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | siima | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Giquli | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | Mikkeli | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Giquli | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ayiaz | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | wbr | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Jarro | 2 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöyhtäri | 296 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sonight | 221 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | ayiaz | 173 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | mato | 118 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | rotta | 98 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sam4vimes | +4.34 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | ayiaz | +3.60 | 63 | 75 |
| #3 | rotta | +2.74 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | siima | +2.58 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Enzo Gorlami | +1.52 | 61 | 81 |





