








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11197 | 46% |
| Smokes | 5824 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5013 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2280 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $730,871 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X-FIR3 | 56% | 85 |
| #2 | herc | 49% | 343 |
| #3 | Bratan | 49% | 76 |
| #4 | Splash | 48% | 331 |
| #5 | ayz | 47% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | herc | 49% | 343 |
| #3 | Bratan | 49% | 76 |
| #4 | Splash | 48% | 331 |
| #5 | ayz | 47% | 116 |
| #6 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herc | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ayz | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Splash | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | X-FIR3 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Bratan | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herc | 500 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | ayz | 247 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Splash | 229 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | X-FIR3 | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bratan | 96 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .jenz | +1.77 | 71 | 86 |
| #2 | ayz | +0.92 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | troubleN IYC$CUF | -0.62 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | herc | -0.86 | 35 | 66 |
| #5 | X-FIR3 | -1.14 | 36 | 56 |





