








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4232 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4288 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8086 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 5702 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,972,599 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X-FIR3 | 55% | 119 |
| #2 | doNmartinez | 51% | 159 |
| #3 | .jenz | 49% | 343 |
| #4 | Splash | 48% | 362 |
| #5 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Splash | 48% | 362 |
| #5 | troubleN IYC$CUF | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | ayz | 45% | 150 |
| #7 | Bolle1337 | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | Bratan | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .jenz | 29 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ayz | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Splash | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Bolle1337 | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | doNmartinez | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .jenz | 2155 | 0.33 | 70 min |
| #2 | doNmartinez | 974 | 0.32 | 31 min |
| #3 | ayz | 324 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Splash | 241 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | X-FIR3 | 165 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doNmartinez | +2.17 | 71 | 88 |
| #2 | .jenz | +1.58 | 72 | 87 |
| #3 | ayz | +0.73 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | troubleN IYC$CUF | -0.04 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | X-FIR3 | -0.17 | 34 | 58 |





