








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1322 | 30% |
| Smokes | 621 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1578 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,708 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Niul8 | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | K-Lykke | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Mortenpå14 | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Hat | 48% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | retsev | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | Doctor Jones | 46% | 93 |
| #8 | vuvux | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Fjette | 43% | 56 |
| #10 | MrBlackMind | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjette | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Doctor Jones | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | retsev | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Niul8 | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hat | 221 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | kuda- | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mortenpå14 | 120 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | retsev | 92 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Doctor Jones | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | +5.35 | 77 | 81 |
| #2 | retsev | +3.53 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Mortenpå14 | +3.14 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Niul8 | +2.74 | 50 | 67 |
| #5 | Hat | +1.81 | 51 | 74 |





