








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1313 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1467 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2652 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1865 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,067,881 of utility $300 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lover | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | kuda- | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Hat | 53% | 92 |
| #4 | Doctor Jones | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | $ashQuatchMay | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | vlnWin | 37% | 81 |
| #17 | Kenslar | 36% | 99 |
| #18 | d1mples | 35% | 17 |
| #19 | Bumle | 34% | 108 |
| #20 | VπΞ·βΠΌ γ | 33% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bumle | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | vlnWin | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Kenslar | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Doctor Jones | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Hat | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hat | 193 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | kuda- | 181 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | VπΞ·βΠΌ γ | 175 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bumle | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | vlnWin | 167 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | +4.49 | 77 | 79 |
| #2 | VπΞ·βΠΌ γ | +2.16 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | retsev | +1.87 | 80 | 71 |
| #4 | Hat | +1.58 | 52 | 76 |
| #5 | Niul8 | +1.49 | 49 | 74 |





