








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 188 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1314 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1548 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,801 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjette | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | Doctor Jones | 50% | 205 |
| #3 | ManningTheLeg | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Hat | 49% | 207 |
| #5 | kuda- | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hat | 49% | 207 |
| #5 | kuda- | 49% | 150 |
| #6 | retsev | 48% | 89 |
| #7 | MrBlackMind | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Mortenpå14 | 44% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retsev | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hat | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Doctor Jones | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | kuda- | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | ManningTheLeg | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | 530 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Hat | 442 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | retsev | 299 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Mortenpå14 | 292 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Doctor Jones | 189 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | +4.24 | 75 | 80 |
| #2 | retsev | +1.99 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | Mortenpå14 | +1.02 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Hat | +0.63 | 50 | 74 |
| #5 | Fjette | +0.03 | 45 | 54 |





