








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3265 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4341 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3339 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,708 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjette | 53% | 92 |
| #2 | kuda- | 53% | 213 |
| #3 | MrBlackMind | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Doctor Jones | 51% | 281 |
| #5 | Mortenpå14 | 50% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Doctor Jones | 51% | 281 |
| #5 | Mortenpå14 | 50% | 141 |
| #6 | retsev | 50% | 151 |
| #7 | K-Lykke | 49% | 207 |
| #8 | ManningTheLeg | 48% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retsev | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Doctor Jones | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Fjette | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | kuda- | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | ManningTheLeg | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | 729 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mortenpå14 | 528 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | retsev | 500 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Doctor Jones | 246 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | ManningTheLeg | 189 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuda- | +4.01 | 76 | 80 |
| #2 | retsev | +1.97 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Mortenpå14 | +1.16 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Hat | +0.88 | 51 | 73 |
| #5 | Fjette | -0.19 | 48 | 57 |





