








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1312 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2033 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1915 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1834 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,287 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hUnt. | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Qviztn =D | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | eskoo | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Strejf-Lejf | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Reaperin | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Warulf | 44% | 121 |
| #11 | 2meterdumheter | 40% | 77 |
| #12 | SuPaRu | 40% | 45 |
| #13 | tissin | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Rulle5kr | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mysin | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Warulf | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | SuPaRu | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | 2meterdumheter | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | eskoo | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warulf | 318 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | mysin | 300 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | VoLi | 177 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 2meterdumheter | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | eskoo | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hUnt. | +2.76 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | skäpz | +2.21 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | eskoo | +2.00 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | mysin | +1.84 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | VoLi | +1.59 | 65 | 68 |





