








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5871 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4460 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5775 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3581 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,349 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d4j1N | 71% | 78 |
| #2 | P-Kone | 70% | 53 |
| #3 | FreeZ | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | kyrox | 59% | 272 |
| #5 | k1ngo | 57% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyrox | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | k1ngo | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ᴛɪʟᴛ ᴀɴᴀɴᴀs | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | d4j1N | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | inViii ^.- | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyrox | 1485 | 0.29 | 44 min |
| #2 | k1ngo | 863 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | ᴛɪʟᴛ ᴀɴᴀɴᴀs | 509 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #4 | inViii ^.- | 226 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | P-Kone | 198 | 0.18 | 3 min |





