








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1418 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,166 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daboss | 68% | 84 |
| #2 | oxmo | 67% | 92 |
| #3 | h1z0w | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | valko | 65% | 124 |
| #5 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oxmo | 67% | 92 |
| #3 | h1z0w | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | valko | 65% | 124 |
| #5 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | Martin Spray | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daboss | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | h1z0w | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | valko | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | oxmo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oxmo | 375 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | valko | 332 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Daboss | 321 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | h1z0w | 87 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | JOHNBAPTISTE | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | +2.49 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | Daboss | +1.09 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | h1z0w | +1.00 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | oxmo | -0.39 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | KastorTroy | -0.60 | 79 | 59 |





