








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 26% |
| Smokes | 709 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,475 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urAn | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | mstcs | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | kayzor | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Daboss | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | KastorTroy | 67% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KastorTroy | 10 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Daboss | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | oxmo | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | valko | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | 151 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | mstcs | 82 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Daboss | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | KastorTroy | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | oxmo | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | +1.94 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | titz | +1.85 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | kayzor | +1.39 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | urAn | +0.72 | 92 | 61 |
| #5 | h1z0w | +0.70 | 72 | 61 |





