








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 753 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,991 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oxmo | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Charlot | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | h1z0w | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | L’Imperator | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | E T NNN 正義 | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KastorTroy | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | valko | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | E T NNN 正義 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | 169 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | oxmo | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | KastorTroy | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | E T NNN 正義 | 53 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Martin Spray | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | +2.38 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | E T NNN 正義 | +1.65 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | KastorTroy | +0.56 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | h1z0w | +0.19 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | L’Imperator | -0.06 | 49 | 58 |





