








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1121 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1119 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,605 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KastorTroy | 68% | 84 |
| #2 | valko | 68% | 93 |
| #3 | h1z0w | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | oxmo | 67% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KastorTroy | 68% | 84 |
| #2 | valko | 68% | 93 |
| #3 | h1z0w | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | oxmo | 67% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KastorTroy | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | h1z0w | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | oxmo | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | valko | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oxmo | 342 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | valko | 234 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | KastorTroy | 166 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | h1z0w | 51 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valko | +2.96 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | h1z0w | +1.38 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | Daboss | +0.74 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | oxmo | -0.57 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | KastorTroy | -0.99 | 77 | 60 |





