








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4471 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2398 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 6135 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4610 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,324 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neon | 58% | 130 |
| #2 | tt | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | jj | 57% | 148 |
| #4 | R0AMZKi | 54% | 125 |
| #5 | KLOSE | 51% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zieG | 51% | 172 |
| #7 | loversGonnalove | 48% | 85 |
| #8 | Mr. Chillington | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | zmoney | 46% | 48 |
| #10 | george dubya cup | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R0AMZKi | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | KLOSE | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | zieG | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | neon | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | zmoney | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLOSE | 892 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | zieG | 262 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | R0AMZKi | 230 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | loversGonnalove | 193 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | tt | 126 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jj | +2.91 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | neon | +2.78 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | R0AMZKi | +0.68 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Mr. Chillington | +0.28 | 77 | 40 |
| #5 | bo0seurs | +0.27 | 82 | 54 |





