








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2895 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6243 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4275 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3597 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,437,941 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Heza | 44% | 300 |
| #12 | Ragvandill | 43% | 179 |
| #13 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 41% | 133 |
| #14 | solvigunn | 39% | 74 |
| #15 | stubbur89 | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heza | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Simpansi | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Stuttbuxur | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Ragvandill | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Tommi | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpansi | 706 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Heza | 405 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 404 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ragvandill | 211 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | solvigunn | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dísel Rottan | +4.12 | 69 | 48 |
| #2 | Humperdoo | +3.28 | 62 | 57 |
| #3 | Simpansi | +2.13 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | solvigunn | +1.92 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Heza | +0.90 | 61 | 70 |





