








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4295 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6466 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4928 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5481 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,470,223 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dísel Rottan | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | Telephone | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | Ragvandill | 49% | 207 |
| #4 | solvigunn | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Dr. Draven | 44% | 300 |
| #12 | Tommi | 43% | 129 |
| #13 | stubbur89 | 43% | 126 |
| #14 | GoofyClot | 42% | 73 |
| #15 | Stuttbuxur | 34% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommi | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Simpansi | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Pk_bang | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dr. Draven | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Ragvandill | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpansi | 1222 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | Dr. Draven | 477 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ragvandill | 263 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 246 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pk_bang | 243 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dísel Rottan | +3.64 | 65 | 51 |
| #2 | stefand0g | +2.25 | 59 | 79 |
| #3 | Simpansi | +1.80 | 71 | 76 |
| #4 | solvigunn | +1.60 | 55 | 65 |
| #5 | Heza | +0.76 | 61 | 68 |





