








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8194 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9928 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8095 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7123 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,220 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Heza | 46% | 348 |
| #14 | Dr. Draven | 44% | 250 |
| #15 | Stuttbuxur | 44% | 73 |
| #16 | stubbur89 | 43% | 172 |
| #17 | Eagle Örn Deagleson the 8th | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heza | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Tommi | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Pk_bang | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dr. Draven | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | solvigunn | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heza | 430 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dr. Draven | 348 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | stefand0g | 325 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Pk_bang | 303 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tommi | 279 | 0.07 | 6 min |





