








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3109 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1839 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,246 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | .#𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝖀𝖓𝖉𝖚𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊^ | 43% | 44 |
| #8 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | Crazytown | 37% | 35 |
| #10 | ShipWr3ck | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storm | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Folke West | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folke West | 236 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | .#𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝖀𝖓𝖉𝖚𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊^ | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Storm | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |





