








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 18% |
| Smokes | 428 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,582 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | 45% | 51 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | Onslaught | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Bru | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Storm | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | Onslaught | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Bru | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Storm | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | ShipWr3ck | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Bru | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | 116 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bru | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Onslaught | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Storm | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | +3.11 | 57 | 72 |
| #2 | Onslaught | +0.32 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Storm | -0.26 | 38 | 32 |
| #4 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | -1.05 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | -1.92 | 38 | 53 |





