








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 364 matches | ||
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1696 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6207 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 5030 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,286,155 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DomJM | 50% | 142 |
| #9 | Crazytown | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | Iяish™ | 46% | 134 |
| #11 | .#𝕾𝖎𝖗 𝖀𝖓𝖉𝖚𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊^ | 44% | 36 |
| #12 | TED | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DomJM | 413 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Folke West | 390 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Iяish™ | 387 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | S1mple | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bru | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |





