








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1582 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2317 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,079 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bru | 45% | 31 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bru | 45% | 31 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Bru | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bru | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (BINGOBONGO) Andrew ♥ | +1.73 | 56 | 59 |
| #2 | (BINGOBONGO) Hitmart | -1.05 | 56 | 46 |
| #3 | (BINGOBONGO) Jetthro | -1.98 | 39 | 53 |
| #4 | Bru | -2.85 | 48 | 63 |





