








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 338 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 163 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1621 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3346 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 503 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,271,473 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redbo | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Askadar | 67% | 43 |
| #3 | Sanchez | 63% | 137 |
| #4 | fox | 62% | 53 |
| #5 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 62% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 59% | 78 |
| #9 | efron | 55% | 67 |
| #10 | techmeyer | 55% | 177 |
| #11 | Burly | 43% | 30 |
| #12 | umpA | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | hauntry | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | m1LDex | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | techmeyer | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | 1494 | 0.33 | 45 min |
| #2 | Sanchez | 1145 | 0.38 | 35 min |
| #3 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 658 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | techmeyer | 638 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | m1LDex | 325 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | +4.05 | 81 | 88 |
| #2 | d3LiveRator | +3.29 | 78 | 53 |
| #3 | hauntry | +2.06 | 69 | 84 |
| #4 | umpA | +1.28 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | +0.67 | 68 | 66 |





