








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 409 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4663 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3540 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5565 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4721 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,513 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burly | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | efron | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | hauntry | 56% | 248 |
| #4 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 55% | 346 |
| #5 | d3LiveRator | 55% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | fox | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | m1LDex | 53% | 106 |
| #8 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 52% | 25 |
| #9 | Sanchez | 49% | 127 |
| #10 | umpA | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | m1LDex | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | hauntry | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | d3LiveRator | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | 1872 | 0.34 | 57 min |
| #2 | Sanchez | 1173 | 0.42 | 38 min |
| #3 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 799 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | d3LiveRator | 297 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | m1LDex | 262 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | +3.64 | 81 | 88 |
| #2 | d3LiveRator | +3.25 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | hauntry | +1.98 | 69 | 85 |
| #4 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | +0.90 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | umpA | -0.16 | 47 | 58 |





