








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 407 | 23% |
| Smokes | 516 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,425 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeMoN | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Dennis the menace | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | ★ dz ★ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | ★eX'champion´ [S] | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Spitzkopf Larry | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TimSta | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | ★trance | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Aschi | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | BYK | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeMoN | 2 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | ★WaitWhat?! | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | TimSta | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★WaitWhat?! | 108 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Aschi | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Spitzkopf Larry | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ★eX'champion´ [S] | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeMoN | +4.72 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | ★WaitWhat?! | +2.89 | 60 | 72 |
| #3 | TimSta | +2.27 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Aschi | +1.32 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | BYK | -0.44 | 58 | 48 |





