








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 745 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2318 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1235 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,164,463 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konzera´s Wrld | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | ★ dz ★ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ★eX'champion´ [S] | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | TimSta | 53% | 108 |
| #5 | duk. | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | fortune | 43% | 21 |
| #13 | Dennis the menace | 41% | 82 |
| #14 | floxerino | 40% | 25 |
| #15 | DeMoN | 38% | 34 |
| #16 | TakTazzz | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimSta | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Aschi | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Spitzkopf Larry | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | floxerino | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★WaitWhat?! | 310 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Aschi | 198 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | TimSta | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Spitzkopf Larry | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TakTazzz | +3.22 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Aschi | +1.53 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | TimSta | +1.40 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | ★WaitWhat?! | +1.29 | 52 | 75 |
| #5 | Konzera´s Wrld | -0.05 | 88 | 57 |





