








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2865 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3883 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6206 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4493 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,051 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BYK | 49% | 161 |
| #10 | Spitzkopf Larry | 49% | 117 |
| #11 | DeMoN | 47% | 36 |
| #12 | floxerino | 41% | 22 |
| #13 | TakTazzz | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimSta | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Spitzkopf Larry | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | BYK | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ★WaitWhat?! | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Dennis the menace | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛴ Drehstabenverbucher | 321 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | ★WaitWhat?! | 311 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | BYK | 176 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Spitzkopf Larry | 174 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | TimSta | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★WaitWhat?! | +1.59 | 51 | 75 |
| #2 | TimSta | +1.40 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | TakTazzz | +1.20 | 87 | 56 |
| #4 | Aschi | +1.18 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | Konzera´s Wrld | +0.11 | 83 | 58 |





