








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,336 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snog | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | j0rg1 | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Corvax | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Moxsan | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | aksel | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selveste | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | adrian | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Moxsan | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Shiitler | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | j0rg1 | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corvax | 142 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | adrian | 134 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Selveste | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Snog | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shiitler | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corvax | +3.23 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | Snog | +1.62 | 91 | 64 |
| #3 | adrian | +1.53 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | Moxsan | +1.01 | 59 | 50 |
| #5 | Selveste | +0.76 | 79 | 63 |





