








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 771 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11787 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8753 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8352 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6740 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,077 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Dedushka | 54% | 283 |
| #2 | Zyzzy | 50% | 307 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | meph | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | Nodji | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zyzzy | 50% | 307 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | meph | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | Nodji | 46% | 59 |
| #6 | QwestaG | 43% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Dedushka | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Zyzzy | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | QwestaG | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Mr|RED | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Nodji | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzzy | 1003 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | 853 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | QwestaG | 810 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #4 | meph | 379 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mr|RED | 365 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzzy | +2.74 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | +1.91 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Alive | -0.04 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | meph | -0.25 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Mr|RED | -0.27 | 66 | 63 |





