








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2455 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1727 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1843 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,089 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwestaG | 46% | 109 |
| #2 | Alive | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | 45% | 156 |
| #4 | Young Dedushka | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Zyzzy | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwestaG | 46% | 109 |
| #2 | Alive | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | 45% | 156 |
| #4 | Young Dedushka | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Zyzzy | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr|RED | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | QwestaG | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Alive | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr|RED | 693 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | QwestaG | 479 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Alive | 229 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Young Dedushka | 156 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zyzzy | 116 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzzy | +1.85 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | +1.53 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | -0.09 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Nodji | -0.55 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | QwestaG | -0.60 | 75 | 67 |





