








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 200 | 14% |
| Smokes | 454 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 495 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,719 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hop'n VØRT三X | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | petR | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | cyan.emmelnem | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | petR | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | cyan.emmelnem | 51% | 51 |
| #6 | Dilaver | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | cyan.emmelnem | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 186 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | petR | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | cyan.emmelnem | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dilaver | 21 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyan.emmelnem | +2.56 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Hop'n VØRT三X | +2.54 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | BACONBACONTRUCK | +0.97 | 54 | 83 |
| #4 | petR | +0.10 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | Thorin Thunderbeard | -0.82 | 55 | 44 |





