








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3230 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3425 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4722 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4282 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,914 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 57% | 171 |
| #2 | DIEHL | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | isucksohard | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | cyan.emmelnem | 54% | 258 |
| #5 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 53% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | isucksohard | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | cyan.emmelnem | 54% | 258 |
| #5 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 53% | 280 |
| #6 | ... | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Dilaver | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | cyan.emmelnem | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | ... | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Dilaver | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BACONBACONTRUCK | 701 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | cyan.emmelnem | 358 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Thorin Thunderbeard | 258 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dilaver | 156 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ... | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyan.emmelnem | +2.43 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | BACONBACONTRUCK | +1.18 | 63 | 77 |
| #3 | petR | +0.13 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Dilaver | -0.56 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | Thorin Thunderbeard | -0.60 | 55 | 46 |





