








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 999 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1177 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1769 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1325 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,279 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 628 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zeiver | 40% | 83 |
| #11 | JimTonic | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Japa91 | 38% | 115 |
| #13 | misku | 38% | 79 |
| #14 | Tz | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeiver | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | NeonoZ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Pepe Julian Onziema | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | misku | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Panomies | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misku | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Japa91 | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | NeonoZ | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stifu | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zeiver | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |





