








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2720 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3797 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4346 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3512 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,639 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Goavääpeli | 40% | 70 |
| #10 | JimTonic | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Japa91 | 38% | 238 |
| #12 | Tz | 38% | 144 |
| #13 | misku | 36% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japa91 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Zeiver | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Tz | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Neonos | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | misku | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japa91 | 343 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zeiver | 285 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | misku | 280 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Saaresi | 249 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Stifu | 247 | 0.12 | 7 min |





