








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3309 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3485 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2933 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,275 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Itis Wat Itis | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | Panomies | 36% | 139 |
| #13 | Japa91 | 36% | 206 |
| #14 | Goavääpeli | 34% | 44 |
| #15 | Tz | 34% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stifu | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Japa91 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Panomies | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Ryba | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Itis Wat Itis | 3 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japa91 | 352 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Zeiver | 229 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Stifu | 217 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Panomies | 201 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Neonos | 197 | 0.10 | 3 min |





