








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Esplay | 109 matches | 1,286 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3032 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5120 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 2558 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,638,678 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CmA | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Hex | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | Skalman | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | .Ohlen | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | ✪ Soleif | 45% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Soleif | 45% | 102 |
| #6 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | 45% | 74 |
| #7 | Dudde | 43% | 351 |
| #8 | Kock i rock | 40% | 96 |
| #9 | acidbanana | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudde | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | .Ohlen | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Kock i rock | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Hex | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudde | 420 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hex | 291 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | 150 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | .Ohlen | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | CmA | 95 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CmA | +6.58 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ Soleif | +3.79 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | +2.01 | 29 | 75 |
| #4 | .Ohlen | +1.56 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Skalman | +1.07 | 49 | 50 |





