










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Esplay | 141 matches | 1,573 | |
| Wingman | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 869 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1749 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3070 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 981 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,853 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kock i rock | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | bigdanne | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | CmA | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | ✪ Soleif | 54% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudde | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Kock i rock | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✪ Soleif | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | -=|Hoppsan|=- | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | -=PiTeRaQ=- | 2 | 0.0039 |





