








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 802 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 883 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,287 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CApy_o' | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | 兎 pr1mo | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Pasha | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Apfelele loves Cheater | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Tinto | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tinto | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | Valar. | 51% | 72 |
| #7 | Jope | 48% | 58 |
| #8 | ✪ Shibby | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | -KONSI- | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jope | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Apfelele loves Cheater | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Tinto | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ Shibby | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | CApy_o' | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelele loves Cheater | 312 | 0.39 | 9 min |
| #2 | Valar. | 222 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jope | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | 兎 pr1mo | 76 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tinto | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CApy_o' | +3.77 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | Pasha | +3.31 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Apfelele loves Cheater | +3.28 | 78 | 78 |
| #4 | Valar. | +2.06 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | -KONSI- | +1.93 | 51 | 71 |





