








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3351 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4036 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2365 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2613 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,241 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basert | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | capyo. | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | 兎 pr1mo | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Pasha | 56% | 90 |
| #5 | Apfelele | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Valar. | 51% | 301 |
| #7 | Feldmarschall Bienenstich | 48% | 58 |
| #8 | -KONSI- | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | ✪ Shibby | 43% | 40 |
| #10 | TintoLeonSki | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valar. | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Apfelele | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 兎 pr1mo | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Pasha | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | TintoLeonSki | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelele | 837 | 0.35 | 23 min |
| #2 | Valar. | 745 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | 兎 pr1mo | 250 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | -KONSI- | 195 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | capyo. | 189 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelele | +2.27 | 78 | 77 |
| #2 | -KONSI- | +1.60 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | Pasha | +1.35 | 88 | 53 |
| #4 | Valar. | +1.19 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | capyo. | +1.09 | 72 | 70 |





