








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 595 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Esplay | 27 matches | 1,481 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4403 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5048 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,064,920 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | c♿ | 39% | 201 |
| #9 | Buggur | 39% | 181 |
| #10 | Solvoll | 38% | 55 |
| #11 | Shafiq | 36% | 107 |
| #12 | Tore Strømøy | 35% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c♿ | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Buggur | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | joey_no | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Smokier_ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | H3gglund | 5 | 0.0031 |





