








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,858 | |
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1666 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1578 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1288 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1014 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,286 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniii | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | mIKAELP | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Taake | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ♛ hiM^ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mIKAELP | 222 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Daniii | 161 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | parow | 122 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | xact | 96 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Topgunner83 | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parow | +3.05 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | mIKAELP | +2.93 | 59 | 76 |
| #3 | aRCOn | +2.59 | 74 | 81 |
| #4 | Snadder | +2.42 | 92 | 56 |
| #5 | ChuckBass^ | +2.16 | 76 | 71 |





