








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2112 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2469 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,017 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛳Antza | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | apples | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Perkhele | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | JUIKKI | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | Ninygo | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zuxin | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | buubibi | 42% | 96 |
| #9 | Xerox1065 | 41% | 74 |
| #10 | kaltsa | 36% | 36 |
| #11 | Piippo | 33% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papparainen | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Perkhele | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | apples | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | kaltsa | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | buubibi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buubibi | 416 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | papparainen | 308 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Piippo | 238 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Xerox1065 | 230 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ⛳Antza | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papparainen | +1.63 | 50 | 76 |
| #2 | jakeh | +0.86 | 56 | 62 |
| #3 | Piippo | +0.00 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | buubibi | -0.17 | 58 | 80 |
| #5 | Perkhele | -0.66 | 61 | 63 |





