








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2734 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4081 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3147 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,863 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nibk | 58% | 231 |
| #2 | Tristay!^^ | 58% | 95 |
| #3 | Pruneman | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Kriggy | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | jp | 56% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tristay!^^ | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | giohm | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | jp | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | nibk | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | thecaptaintea | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brooky | +2.86 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | nibk | +1.30 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | giohm | +0.42 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | jp | +0.38 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | Tristay!^^ | -0.34 | 64 | 61 |





