








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1573 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1365 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,068 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koffe | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Albus Doubledoor | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | rsN | 51% | 166 |
| #4 | TT | 51% | 166 |
| #5 | nyu | 50% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koffe | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Albus Doubledoor | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | rsN | 51% | 166 |
| #4 | TT | 51% | 166 |
| #5 | nyu | 50% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rsN | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Albus Doubledoor | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TT | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | nyu | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albus Doubledoor | 888 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #2 | rsN | 853 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #3 | TT | 485 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | nyu | 439 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | koffe | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TT | +2.03 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | rsN | +1.14 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Tirde | -0.35 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | Albus Doubledoor | -0.41 | 68 | 84 |
| #5 | koffe | -1.93 | 44 | 58 |





