








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2070 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2102 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3470 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,523,285 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓕⓘⓝⓔ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | rsN | 60% | 102 |
| #3 | Albus Doubledoor | 59% | 86 |
| #4 | TT | 58% | 98 |
| #5 | nyu | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TT | 58% | 98 |
| #5 | nyu | 54% | 95 |
| #6 | ✪AaЯoN✪ | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | SpitzhackenJoe | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | GQ-Nud1 | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rsN | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | nyu | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | TT | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Albus Doubledoor | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ⓕⓘⓝⓔ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rsN | 570 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Albus Doubledoor | 427 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #3 | TT | 270 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | nyu | 235 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | ⓕⓘⓝⓔ | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TT | +1.94 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | rsN | +1.19 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Albus Doubledoor | +0.51 | 74 | 83 |
| #4 | ⓕⓘⓝⓔ | +0.47 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | koffe | +0.07 | 60 | 59 |





